Sunday, June 28, 2009

Assignment 3 Final -- The Kaleidoscope

Assignment 3, Final -- The Kaleidoscope

June 28, 2009

Lilless McPherson Shilling

When I was eight, my parents gave me my first kaleidoscope as a birthday present.  Before that I had never seen one.  What a treasure.  I looked at it endlessly, enjoying the changing shapes and bright colors, savoring the feel of it in my hands, listening to the sound it made as I turned it.  It was small enough to hold in my hands.  Nine inches long.  Three inches in diameter.   Round – a tube -- I liked its symmetry.  Turning the tube was gratifying as the little pieces of something clicked into place, mysteriously making new shapes in a random way, keeping themes but never repeating the same “show” because the colors changed.

Eventually, I could not help myself and I had to take my kaleidoscope apart to find out how it worked.  How surprised I was to find that a few bits of colored glass  -- like sea glass  -- and mirrors could make such an array of shapes.  And how sad I was that I no longer had a working kaleidoscope – just the pieces.  In those days I did not feel my parents, who did not scold me for taking it apart or perhaps did not even know since they had four children and didn’t always pay attention to what we were doing, could afford to buy me another one.  I did not ask.

As a child, from time to time I came across other kaleidoscopes at friend’s homes or in stores.  I greeted them like old friends. Whenever I saw one I played with it, still enjoying the colors, the random designs, the symmetrical shapes, the feel, the sounds. But I never owned another one until I was an adult.

As an adult I have bought a few of kaleidoscopes.  One is similar to my childhood toy.  A few years ago I found the supplies for one at a children’s craft fair.  Another doesn’t have colored glass bits in it.  You just look through it and the mirrors make symmetrical but broken up shapes out of what you are pointing to. 

In thinking about my treasured toy, I realize that I am like a kaleidoscope.  I see myself as constantly changing -- or at least wanting to.  I also see myself as ordered, held in check by certain parameters.  I love bright colors.  My interests are sometimes random and fleeting but there are recurring themes.

The kaleidoscope represents diversity.  I usually embrace diversity – within parameters – within reason.  I include units and assignments on diversity in my writing class and in all other courses I teach: marketing, change management, interpersonal communication, leadership, human resources management, and health care delivery.

Recently, I looked for my kaleidoscopes and could not find them.  So I made a box filled with objects that reflect my interests, hobbies, and passions.  Here are the treasures in my “kaleidoscope box”:

*    Colorful yarn that I’ll use to knit or crochet a scarf for a friend.  My grandmother taught me to knit and crochet when I was eight. Years later, my mother-in-law showed me how to make dish cloths out of cotton yarn and now I make them all the time. Recently I made about 35 knitted dish clothes in various colors to give to the Shilling family members who came to our daughter’s wedding. Knitting and crocheting are a way of multi-tasking, reflecting how I live.  

*    A coral sponge visor that says “Holden Beach, NC”.  This represents my love of the outdoors, the sun, the beach, and North Carolina, where my brothers and I own a farm we inherited from our mother.

*    A colorful coffee mug that lists cities in North Carolina. I gave the mug to my mother years ago.  Although she moved many times in her adult life, she always said she was from North Carolina and she loved the mug.  I took it back after she died. 

*    Photos of our daughter, Paz, who was born prematurely.  One shows her seven days old when she was still in the hospital, looking out of what I see as an intelligent, curious, and creative face.  Her head of dark brown hair has a bald spot where it was shaved for her IV tubes.  Another shows me kissing her little head right near the IV tube that is taped on.  Another shows her, my husband, Mackie, and me at home on our patio.  She is still looking out of her intelligent, curious, and creative face.

*    A small dog figurine represents our dog Betsy, a German shorthaired pointer mix. She used to belong to Paz and Paz gave her to us.  Betsy brings unconditional love into our lives. She also needs a lot of exercise.  Every day my husband takes her to the beach in the morning and I take her for a walk on the golf course near our home in the evening.  Because of these walks, I log at least 10,000 steps a day on my pedometer and get to see the sunset every night.  Many birds – egrets, great blue herons, ibises, mallards, Canada geese, wood storks, blue birds, gold finches, cardinals, robins, anhingas, and others live on the golf course in the ponds and creeks.  We have our own rookery; the golf course is one of my favorite places.

The last kaleidoscope I bought was the one that only has mirrors, that focuses on objects in our external word.  When I look through it, I think about the first kaleidoscope my parents gave me for my eighth birthday, and gain insights about my life.  Is not finding even one of my kaleidoscopes lately a message that my life and my home are too cluttered, that I’m not sure of my way, that I need to focus on some themes or some passions that bring me joy, that will help me find my way?

 

1 comment:

  1. Some of the formatting would not behave when I tried to edit this on the blog. Sorry. I can't reach Amy to figure out what to do. Have been up all night and am relieved to submit this even if it's not perfect. I tell my students that practice does not made perfect but it does make better. I need to practice (pun intended) what I preach.

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